Heavenly peace

“Silent night, holy night. All is calm, all is bright. Round yon virgin mother and child, holy infant so tender and mild. Sleep in heavenly peace, sleep in heavenly p-” BRAAAAAK! A fart rang out, not only sounding like the cry of some crazed dinosaur but completely cutting off the song, the singers turning to Dietmar in anger, but then letting it go as the family at the door fell about laughing and, indeed, gave a bigger tip than they had originally intended, although all the coins later turned out to be counterfeit, and the charges for trying to use them were dropped only in the new year.

A little treat

She opened the door on her advent calendar. Ah, a little chocolate. How lovely! She popped it out of the plastic and h- suddenly her entire body was smashed against the wall several metres away as a torrent of turds hit her with incredible force. Her bones shattered, her brain pulverised and her heart shocked, it was only a question of whether she’d suffocate before she died from the impact.