Her head was blown into pieces, fragments of skull clanging off other objects nearby. “Eat that, you old hag!” he cried righteously. The largest chunk of her head came to rest near his hip as he sat on the floor. Alas, it had all happened so quickly that his orgasm was now a fait accompli, and the largest dollop of his issue flew up, over and down onto her left eyebrow and eye. She blinked for the last time.
He literally had crabs in his eyebrows.
He flung his semi-congealed blood all over her knockers. That seemed to sort her out.
It sucked that he had just been shot in the head, but it wasn’t killing him quite as immediately as he had expected, and he had time to relax his muscles down below and let out that big fart that had been coming anyway. And, just as the final blackness closed in on him, he thought he felt his whole colon discharging. Pppfffffrrrrtttttbbllblbbllbbblllbbb.
“Been around the world and I-I-I, I can’t find my baby…” murmured the mortician as he removed the last traces of pus from her uterus.
He stood up, thinking he was about to experience The Quickening, but actually it was just a belch, albeit a really deep and satisfying one.
What banter! Steve had tried the old ‘dip your finger in water to make you piss yourself in your sleep’ on Chris, and it had nearly worked, but then Chris had woken, grabbed Steve, swiftly and expertly manoeuvred him into an agonising arm lock, held that ’til his whimpering subsided before snapping the arm off and laughing, then held a loaded pistol to his head while he produced a turd for Darren to carry round to Steve’s mouth and shove it all in and pinch his nose until he swallowed it else the both of them would have got their fucking heads blown off.
Blaffpppphhhhhbbbb! The turd fired out, and it was followed seamlessly by the hot, smelly air that had pressed it forth. That air then slowly got pinched off as the gap was filled with another thick log, and this one more flopped than fired, and that only after some long seconds of sliding through the anal gateway.