It was always a challenge to crack one off surreptitiously and today was no exception. As he commenced the vinegar strokes, a woman suddenly flung the door open from outside and announced in a loud, savagely mocking voice to all in the vicinity that he was “having a shuffle in here!”. There was scarcely room to turn around in the cubicle, let alone to hide, and as faces crowded around the doorway, peering and leering at his exposed form, though he ceased his rapid motions, he had crossed the ejaculatory Rubicon already, and they were treated to the sight of a fountain of white goo slopping lazily out of the top of his column. And, to cap it all, he couldn’t stop a long, very personal, and indeed profoundly satisfied, groan of exultation emanating from his lips, thereafter to be echoed back at him from all present, from everyone they’d told, and from everyone who heard the recording uploaded to YouTube and subsequently remixed to a hundred different jungle beats.
It was a cock, yes, yet it seemed not to have an opening at the end. Come to think of it, it seemed not to have any veins either. She had seen smooth ones before, sure, but they usually still had that big vein down the underside. This one didn’t even ha- oh – wait. She’d been here before. This thing – it was the size of a cock, yes – a big one at that – but it wasn’t made of human flesh. She looked down to where it didn’t meet the groin of a man (or woman). It stood alone. Well, it laid alone. And it wasn’t really the colour of human flesh, or at least not of anyone she’d been intimate with. And, far from having veins protruding from the surface, if anything it had crevices across it, perhaps where the surface had been smooth under pressure but had then fractured somewhat when released. Released from what, though? Something about the same width as a cock. She couldn’t figu- agh! She gagged and leaned back. The smell… wow, yep, there it was. It was the smell of poo. She was looking at a poo.
He sprinted toward the huge turd, flinging himself at it for the last few feet, getting one of his huge arms around it, wrapping himself round and pile-driving it hard into the ground, the log shattering all over him as he collapsed, giggling manically.
The anticipation made her tingle. As his frighteningly long, agile tongue reached out toward her, she looked at his hideous face and saw that he appeared to be grinning. Yet, if so, it was just a ruse, as, far from licking her, he used his tongue to draw her swiftly unto him and gobbled her up greedily, crushing her wings inward with the rest and swallowing her entire body in one gulp.