‘Mite makes right

What was this stinking brown stuff before him? It tasted like it had been squeezed out of an arse, though whether a human one or not he couldn’t say. Ugh! The taste was unbelievably foul. He wondered why he was even being asked to try it. Yet there was Matthew – if that was his real name – dipping his finger in and lapping it off with a grin, and not even a perverted one. If anything his expression was wholesome. It was so wrong. It w- oh, wait, it was just Vegemite.

Rotten to the core

He bit into the apple, enjoying a huge chunk of sweet, crunchy flesh and hungrily swallowing it in his lust for more. The second bite, though, was composed mostly of the hidden brown mush at the apple’s heart, yet he didn’t realise until he swallowed and the rotting stuff hit the back of his throat, suddenly prompting him to hurl it back out with a whole lot more in train, not just apple flesh but also the previous pack of bacon-flavoured Skips and, after another big heave, an old galosh.