She had already queefed a full fannyload of eggy blood onto his glum, sagging face, and there was a lot more to come.
Right. She had popped the car into Kwik Fit and now she needed to find a different, more biological kind of mechanic, one prepared to delve into her private engine with a big spanner and get it purring again.
At first glance, everyone was glued to the big television screen, listening for new details about how many people were feared dead in the blast. But if one peered into the darker recesses of the office, it was clear that Janet was glued to something else: a filing cabinet stuffed with heavily-used tampons.
The way the heat from the nuclear explosion flash-fried his flesh before the blastwave tore it all off and blew it away was excruciating and horrifying but also, in a way, quite funny, especially as he’d boasted that he would ‘bang out’ any nuke that came anywhere near him.