He returned from The Crusades and plonked his shield down just inside the front door. She jumped up to run to him, but she was suddenly brought to the floor by a dead leg from having sat down for too long. He flung his codpiece to one side and stood ready to put her to the sword. Though she was concussed from hitting her head on the flagstones, she managed to lick her lips and utter a lascivious ‘mmmmmyyyyeaahhhh’ before passing out.