“I love you, my darling. I always have. We will hold one another again…. in Elysium.” With those words he departed. Well, with those words and a huge efflux of solids from his rectum.
“Requiescat im pace,” she intoned softly, and pulled the lever, but her utterance was inappropriate, since however much she wished peace upon her departing friend, it was being denied exactly that by her own action of flushing it round the u-bend and into the sewage system where, admittedly, it would join many more of its own kind.
Unburdened by choice
The terrible impact of the rock cracking unevenly into the side of his head made a sickening sound, but that was nothing compared to the moment of horror as he realised that his central nervous system was irreparably damaged and that all he could do now was collapse to the floor, release his rectal grip and let his last log emerge and make its case to the world as he departed the mortal coil.