She insisted that if they just waited for the lift they would get to the bottom sooner, but he already had a foot on the escalator. She let him go and he looked back up to see her giggling as she ran and got into the glass-fronted capsule, pressed the button frantically to close the doors and held her bag and grinned at him as she descended smoothly to the middle floor, reaching it just before he did and only stopping for a moment to let another woman in before resuming her descent. Complacent as always, he casually strolled round and got onto the second escalator. She grinned wider and began to give mocking gestures, knowing that he would still be ten feet from the ground when she touched down, but her wanker sign stopped and her face turned to sickened horror as he realised too, flung himself off the moving metal staircase, plunged through the few inches of water by the fountain and crunched his head horribly into the coin-strewn tiles, blood and, it appeared, deeply golden urine surrounding him as he expired to the sound of a pre-recorded Tannoy announcement.
Pile ’em high
She was peeling and chopping parsnips at a stupendous rate, already sitting by a pile way too big for all of them to eat, and still doing more, and more, and more. Still, at least it took her mind off the ferocious rectal pounding she’d taken the night before, which had left her severely ruptured and two hundred florins worse off, the gigolo having insisted on a higher fee than usual because the age difference was greater than eighty years.