Eternal flame

The hand cupping his sack was wrinkled with age, but still it gave him that spunking feeling and oh, God, no, he’d just seen her face for the first time and now he was flaccid, flaccider even than her sagging cheeks, and now he imagined her collapsed old titrack, and then the rest, and he shuddered with horror. No way was he going to cream one off now. The load had run for cover and wouldn’t be coming out until this lubricious crone had been ejected (slowly, because of her knees) from not only his office but the whole area around the Pentagon.

Work to rule

She could see that the case contained a bomb, but her shift had just finished and she knew she wouldn’t get paid for doing overtime, so she waved it through, stood up to make way for Martina, and marched off to get on the tube before the crowds. The plane exploded before take-off, as it turned out, but she didn’t hear about it until much later, and the news was accompanied by a text from her boss saying they’d be closed tomorrow, so she’d be having a lie-in. Whallop!