We love you, 2004

He was really tired of hearing about the tsunami damage. It didn’t look like the death toll was going to get above eight thousand – absolutely pathetic by 2004’s standards anyway – and they were just saying the same thing in the same tone of voice over and over. He switched over to BBC Four. It was a documentary about how punk had blown away the pretentious era of prog r- THONK. Hello! Some action at last? Yes, but… well, he’d turded himself. Amazingly, though, it had come out cleanly. He considered his sitting position. Yes, he supposed that was possible – his arse wasn’t pressed straight down against the couch, but was more facing forward, allowing the turd out, through his loose boxers and, yep, there it was on the floor, a few ants already roving over to inspect it.